Hey wow, how bout such a long time I've written on this thing. Phew!

Hmm,

Ok well update.. still twisted. My mind feels like its expanding ever greater towards... dead ends? Great. Who am I? Sorry, you have to ask when you've forgotten how to be you and you really don't know what makes yourself happy. Yeah, kinda happens when you have responsibility. Don't get me wrong its great and all but remember when it was all about what you wanted? Where ever the world takes you, just go. 

I hate sitting still, drives me nuts. You start to notice things. Things around you start going in a different direction. Like, in a line straight forward you see yourself assuming a slightly different course of action or angle. And then you start to drift. Always just a little off from everyone else. The curve is ever so slight that you don't quite grasp its meaning or where it takes you but you know for sure that in the end your destiny is different. But how? And why? Then, because its different, all other course of action to include your own possible nature or excepted reality depends which you've excepted that it, every aspect and nuance of it upsets you or puts you into a mood that lies some where between raging helplessness or blatant truth that would set you free. Who knows. In the end what does it all mean and will someone be around or care enough to give the answers. And what if we're wrong? Or, even, is it ok to ask, to wonder, to questions not the existence of but the truth of, well LIFE and ALL. 

There it is another question. Their everywhere. And here I am wondering why isn't life different? Why does existence have to equal suffering. Its like we're destined for it. But if we, and I mean you and I were not alive for it then how could it be fair or even easy with out the truth. Furthermore why was it allowed to be hidden from us to guess? Guess , guess guess. because its all been changed and some of us have heart enough to live knowing but wondering about, well it. Life and all. 

Of course, I'll try harder.